"God Wants Local Man Dead; Local Man says 'Bring It'"

Xiaofeng · 01-14-2009, 01:17 AM

Lengthy read, but hilarious.

http://bama.ua.edu/~acsellers/story.html

clark192 · 01-14-2009, 03:39 AM

absolutely epic, haha

DougLikesBMW · 01-14-2009, 05:13 AM

"I am the girl scout on your front porch offering cookies for money. I am your biscuit prostitute."

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOL!

Awesome story, holy shit. lol!!!

Year's_End · 01-14-2009, 10:27 AM

"A doctor comes and assesses me. He is not happy. He has a monobrow though, so I need not respect him."

tweak84 · 01-14-2009, 12:43 PM

that was fucking amazing...best story ive read in a long time

DougLikesBMW · 01-15-2009, 02:01 AM

Bump, because more people need to see this.

jhv · 01-15-2009, 02:27 AM

tl;dr

jhv · 01-15-2009, 02:28 AM

unless its really a good story

KevinGoFast · 01-15-2009, 03:00 AM

By far the funniest and longest story I've ever read.

DougLikesBMW · 01-15-2009, 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jh valley

unless its really a good story

it is.

zeebeda · 01-15-2009, 04:53 AM

lmfao.
great stuff.

Xiaofeng · 01-15-2009, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jh valley

unless its really a good story

Look at it this way, JH: It's 6 out of 6 in making readers laugh so far.

MadDog · 01-15-2009, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tweak84

that was fucking amazing...best story ive read in a long time

+1. The writer definitely has a way with words.

ToadHollow · 01-15-2009, 10:13 AM

Whom ever wrote this definitely has some talent ............

ChineseGuy · 01-15-2009, 02:35 PM

This is second in my Online story chart, following the Airplane story by Solaris...

BillLee · 01-15-2009, 03:26 PM

amazing

Year's_End · 01-15-2009, 04:36 PM

solaris9 wrote it.

DougLikesBMW · 01-15-2009, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bimmer Loyalist

solaris9 wrote it.

lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChineseGuy

This is second in my Online story chart, following the Airplane story by Solaris...

If you'd like a third go here (Long, but definitely worth reading):
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=4039343

iPodAddict · 01-15-2009, 06:16 PM

Brilliant story... I give it two thumbs up.

DasBoost · 01-15-2009, 10:38 PM

This story was so "fluffy" funny!!! Great story.

ChineseGuy · 01-16-2009, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW

If you'd like a third go here (Long, but definitely worth reading):
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=4039343

I was about to go to sleep...until you send me this thread....

I hate you...

richeerich03 · 01-16-2009, 09:46 AM

I'm on page 8 right now, pretty good story..

01-14-2009, 01:17 AM	#1
Xiaofeng Captain 35 Rep 712 Posts Drives: 2007.5 E90 335xi Montego/Lemon Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Colorado iTrader: (1) Garage List 2007 E90 335xi [0.00] 1991 325iX [0.00]	"God Wants Local Man Dead; Local Man says 'Bring It'" Lengthy read, but hilarious. http://bama.ua.edu/~acsellers/story.html __________________
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01-14-2009, 03:39 AM	#2
clark192 Second Lieutenant 17 Rep 230 Posts Drives: 2006 325i (EU) Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Bahrain iTrader: (0)	absolutely epic, haha
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01-14-2009, 05:13 AM	#3
DougLikesBMW Fapmin 402 Rep 2,660 Posts Drives: '03 E46 330Ci Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Plano, Texas iTrader: (0)	"I am the girl scout on your front porch offering cookies for money. I am your biscuit prostitute." AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOL! Awesome story, holy shit. lol!!!
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01-14-2009, 10:27 AM	#4
Year's_End Lieutenant General 1138 Rep 12,444 Posts Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	"A doctor comes and assesses me. He is not happy. He has a monobrow though, so I need not respect him." __________________ Past: '08 E92 335i\|ZPP\|ZSP\|6AT Past: '15 Mustang GT\|401A\|PP\|6MT Current: '20 Shelby GT350\|6MT
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01-14-2009, 12:43 PM	#5
tweak84 i shake a lot 72 Rep 108 Posts Drives: 07 Z4M 17 X5M Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Wisconsin iTrader: (1)	that was fucking amazing...best story ive read in a long time
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01-15-2009, 02:01 AM	#6
DougLikesBMW Fapmin 402 Rep 2,660 Posts Drives: '03 E46 330Ci Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Plano, Texas iTrader: (0)	Bump, because more people need to see this.
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01-15-2009, 02:27 AM	#7
jhv Lieutenant General 1699 Rep 17,304 Posts Drives: G80 M3 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	tl;dr
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01-15-2009, 02:28 AM	#8
jhv Lieutenant General 1699 Rep 17,304 Posts Drives: G80 M3 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (1)	unless its really a good story
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01-15-2009, 03:00 AM	#9
KevinGoFast Registered 0 Rep 3 Posts Drives: 328i Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Clearwater, FL iTrader: (1)	By far the funniest and longest story I've ever read.
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01-15-2009, 04:53 AM	#11
zeebeda Private First Class 26 Rep 146 Posts Drives: Nissan 350Z, BMW e92 335i Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Birmingham, AL iTrader: (0) Garage List 2011 BMW [0.00] 2003 Nissan 350Z [0.00]	lmfao. great stuff.
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01-15-2009, 10:13 AM	#14
ToadHollow Once upon a time ...... 276 Rep 5,048 Posts Drives: 2008 JB E92 - SOLD 5/2010 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Asti, Italy & Austin, Texas iTrader: (16) Garage List 2008 E92 335i [8.00]	Whom ever wrote this definitely has some talent ............ __________________
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01-15-2009, 02:35 PM	#15
ChineseGuy QuickShifter 137 Rep 1,500 Posts Drives: Black E90 Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: North Pole iTrader: (2)	This is second in my Online story chart, following the Airplane story by Solaris...
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01-15-2009, 03:26 PM	#16
BillLee Major General 679 Rep 5,382 Posts Drives: E92 M3 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: HTX iTrader: (21) Garage List 09 E92 M3 [9.00]	amazing __________________ Follow me on instagram: billy.by
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01-15-2009, 04:36 PM	#17
Year's_End Lieutenant General 1138 Rep 12,444 Posts Drives: 2020 Shelby GT350 Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: FL iTrader: (0)	solaris9 wrote it. __________________ Past: '08 E92 335i\|ZPP\|ZSP\|6AT Past: '15 Mustang GT\|401A\|PP\|6MT Current: '20 Shelby GT350\|6MT
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01-15-2009, 06:16 PM	#19
iPodAddict Captain 28 Rep 964 Posts Drives: 335i Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Xinpei iTrader: (0)	Brilliant story... I give it two thumbs up. __________________
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01-15-2009, 10:38 PM	#20
DasBoost Tek Dat 2 Rep 21 Posts Drives: E92 335i Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: NYC iTrader: (0)	This story was so "fluffy" funny!!! Great story.
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01-16-2009, 09:46 AM	#22
richeerich03 Captain 149 Rep 877 Posts Drives: E90 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Santa Clarita iTrader: (0) Garage List 2006 E90 330i [0.00]	I'm on page 8 right now, pretty good story.. __________________
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