Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

Has she replied?

No. Back to silence.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by dinonz

No. Back to silence.

I'd leave it this way.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

I'd leave it this way.

Yeah - I will. I'm no good at small talk anyway so I have nothing to say.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Not very. I was still unsure how good of a match we were personality wise but was prepared to see where it went - not so much now. I don't need this grief, especially not now.

i believe we have reached a conclusion...

[JP10]

The conclusion was reached during his first post questioning the intent of the relationship. If you need to ask random heads advice on whether or not to make a relationship more serious or if she's after your cash then you already know the answer (or at least it'll always be in the back of your mind which will only lead to more harm if things progress). When you know you'll know, other then that just enjoy your time boss. Just my 2cents though

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by JP10

The conclusion was reached during his first post questioning the intent of the relationship. If you need to ask random heads advice on whether or not to make a relationship more serious or if she's after your cash then you already know the answer (or at least it'll always be in the back of your mind which will only lead to more harm if things progress). When you know you'll know, other then that just enjoy your time boss. Just my 2cents though

+1.

You sound like you have a good life. But the best advice I can give is that until you truly realize you can be happy without anyone but yourself....you are going to be more tempted to rely on others for something they may not can give you.

Whether she's trying to play hard to get....or if she thinks you may be on to some ulterior motives.....you can't sweat it.

It sounds like you are well rounded, but also sounds like you've been hurt in the past. Nothing will fix that but time and staying occupied.

I wish you the best!

[ragingpanda]

Women are always after your cash. The sooner you realize this, the better off you will be.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by JP10

The conclusion was reached during his first post questioning the intent of the relationship. If you need to ask random heads advice on whether or not to make a relationship more serious or if she's after your cash then you already know the answer (or at least it'll always be in the back of your mind which will only lead to more harm if things progress). When you know you'll know, other then that just enjoy your time boss. Just my 2cents though

Part of asking the random heads is I can be a bit more open with how I feel and with what's happening. I had breakfast with a friend today who may have ended up meeting this woman at brunch one weekend - now if we do all meet up, she will be guarded towards this woman as she knows more of what's happening behind the public façade.

It will always be in the back of my mind as I've been single most of my life with few women taking any interest - so anyone who takes interest now I will be suspicious of. Just wanted to get a feel from others as to how they saw it.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

+1.

You sound like you have a good life. But the best advice I can give is that until you truly realize you can be happy without anyone but yourself....you are going to be more tempted to rely on others for something they may not can give you.

Whether she's trying to play hard to get....or if she thinks you may be on to some ulterior motives.....you can't sweat it.

It sounds like you are well rounded, but also sounds like you've been hurt in the past. Nothing will fix that but time and staying occupied.

I wish you the best!

I'm very used to being single, and am not someone who needs a relationship to be happy - but being in one could be nice. Or could drive me nuts. I am an introvert, so I don't crave the presence and validation of others, but I'm also an affectionate person so the presence of the right one could be good. It's determining the right one that I struggle with.

I've been hurt before but that's well in the past and not a factor now I don't think. What I don't need are games - I have senior executives at my company playing power games and don't need more shit outside work.

[JP10]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Part of asking the random heads is I can be a bit more open with how I feel and with what's happening. I had breakfast with a friend today who may have ended up meeting this woman at brunch one weekend - now if we do all meet up, she will be guarded towards this woman as she knows more of what's happening behind the public façade.

It will always be in the back of my mind as I've been single most of my life with few women taking any interest - so anyone who takes interest now I will be suspicious of. Just wanted to get a feel from others as to how they saw it.

Didn't mean to have any malice in what I said. What I intended to convey is that at the end of the day it's how you feel in your given circumstances. Opinions from us will only sway your current thoughts for so long.

To be honest I don't know how I would go about relationships in your shoes. Where others are just looking for your typical perfect women you have to factor in a substantial amount of risk given your financial situation. Luckily (shocking that I'm saying that as id love to have 8 figures) I'll never have to consider that factor.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by JP10

Didn't mean to have any malice in what I said. What I intended to convey is that at the end of the day it's how you feel in your given circumstances. Opinions from us will only sway your current thoughts for so long.

To be honest I don't know how I would go about relationships in your shoes. Where others are just looking for your typical perfect women you have to factor in a substantial amount of risk given your financial situation. Luckily (shocking that I'm saying that as id love to have 8 figures) I'll never have to consider that factor.

Oh - no malice assumed. It's just good to get differing views. If 9/10 people had come back saying I was being silly, I'd take that on board (and probably ignore it lol). I know I can react strangely (many people have thought I had Aspergers, but having empathy rules that out) so was trying to get a feel for it.

Sadly it's the double edged sword we don't often think about - like famous people can't so easily go out in public without a disguise. It's the price you pay I guess.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Yeah - various things have happened over the past 4 years and I have become more withdrawn and less interested in anything. I've been searching for hobbies but everything I find is either meh or done that before.

"IIIIIII, have become, comfortably numb"

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

"IIIIIII, have become, comfortably numb"

UncleWede Dionne Warwick and Floyd?

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I'm very used to being single, and am not someone who needs a relationship to be happy - but being in one could be nice. Or could drive me nuts. I am an introvert, so I don't crave the presence and validation of others, but I'm also an affectionate person so the presence of the right one could be good. It's determining the right one that I struggle with.

I've been hurt before but that's well in the past and not a factor now I don't think. What I don't need are games - I have senior executives at my company playing power games and don't need more shit outside work.

Everyone has their own issues, and I don't think there is anything wrong with being an introvert. My wife is one.

But reading some of your posts especially about few women taking interest in you is selling yourself short in my opinion.

Just trust your gut in these situations as it sounds like it's worked pretty well in other areas of your life.

I'm a big believer in karma....so be the best person you can be and when things are ready to happen in that aspect, I feel that they will happen no matter how long it takes.

I just read about you becoming withdrawn and losing interest, and you really need to break that cycle as much as your personality will allow as it could lead to more distrust of others....and you might miss out on someone who could care less about your financial accomplishments.

No one should have to feel that way unless that's just what they prefer.

Like I said...my wife is an introvert. I'm the opposite so she's come out of her shell big time in the last 8 year's or so. But she's also taught me that sometimes I'm too trusting of people. And let's face it, reality is that there are plenty of people out there looking to take advantage of others. It sucks but it's true.

It's definitely give and take between her and I as I have to respect her boundaries.

Not trying to critize you as I'm definitely not a shining example for people to follow.

I guess in all my ramblings....I'm just saying don't sell yourself short when it comes to this area of your life. Obviously you are successful, and you deserve to be happy in other areas of your life as well.

And if that means a partner to share your life with or just spend time with....you are as entitled to that as much as anyone else is.

Yours is just a unique situation given the circumstances, so I can appreciate the apprehension you may have. It just unfortunately means you might have to wade through more BS than other people might have to.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

UncleWede Dionne Warwick and Floyd?

Because Ravi Shankar I cant understand any of the words

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Because Ravi Shankar I cant understand any of the words

And I don't understand you

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Because Ravi Shankar I cant understand any of the words

Posts like this make me think your screen name should be Uncle WEED.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Posts like this make me think your screen name should be Uncle WEED.

That's what he was trying for, he was just so high at the time he spelled it wrong.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

Everyone has their own issues, and I don't think there is anything wrong with being an introvert. My wife is one.

But reading some of your posts especially about few women taking interest in you is selling yourself short in my opinion.

Just trust your gut in these situations as it sounds like it's worked pretty well in other areas of your life.

I'm a big believer in karma....so be the best person you can be and when things are ready to happen in that aspect, I feel that they will happen no matter how long it takes.

I just read about you becoming withdrawn and losing interest, and you really need to break that cycle as much as your personality will allow as it could lead to more distrust of others....and you might miss out on someone who could care less about your financial accomplishments.

No one should have to feel that way unless that's just what they prefer.

Like I said...my wife is an introvert. I'm the opposite so she's come out of her shell big time in the last 8 year's or so. But she's also taught me that sometimes I'm too trusting of people. And let's face it, reality is that there are plenty of people out there looking to take advantage of others. It sucks but it's true.

It's definitely give and take between her and I as I have to respect her boundaries.

Not trying to critize you as I'm definitely not a shining example for people to follow.

I guess in all my ramblings....I'm just saying don't sell yourself short when it comes to this area of your life. Obviously you are successful, and you deserve to be happy in other areas of your life as well.

And if that means a partner to share your life with or just spend time with....you are as entitled to that as much as anyone else is.

Yours is just a unique situation given the circumstances, so I can appreciate the apprehension you may have. It just unfortunately means you might have to wade through more BS than other people might have to.

I guess I'm confident in my work and things I know, not confident in myself personally. I don't like crowds (especially not crowds of strangers), I hate small talk, feel very awkward and uncomfortable meeting people (unless it's work related). Don't know why but feel like I've always been like that.

As for being withdrawn and losing interest, I'm trying to break that, but I'm just really struggling to find anything that interests me enough to do. And I'm not sure how to make anything seem more interesting. Part of it is having done a lot of things over the years hobby wise. I've done stamp and coin collecting. Built model cars and planes (and trucks). Raced RC cars. Done glass engraving. I used to knit and crochet back in the 70s (and macramé).

The old saying the only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys might be true also. I *could* be interested in racing karts or even cars, but that's not an evenings and weekends hobby that I really need - something to stop me being bored and irritated in the evenings. I could get my NZ pilots license transferred to a US license, but I question the value of it here. I could even look into my rotary wing license, but that's of even more questionable value and still not something I can do in the evenings. I'm past the pub and club scene but still enjoy a drink. I'm having a wine fridge installed in my new home, and have ordered a pool table and shuffleboard table - maybe those will pique some interest. I used to play pool as a kid and enjoyed it.

I do have extrovert friends who draw me out, but only occasionally. I don't always enjoy what they want to do like happy hour downtown on a Friday night - last thing I want to do is battle traffic to fight for a carpark to be jammed in a crowded bar with my nose in someone's armpit just for a cheap drink. Rather buy a really nice bottle of something and have a quiet drink at home. Like an introvert would

I've got a lot of soul searching and thinking to do - thanks for your thoughts. Got to find a way out of this rut.

As for my other problem - blocked on Facebook. No longer a problem

[beerdog1]

Originally Posted by ragingpanda

Women are always after your cash. The sooner you realize this, the better off you will be.

All depends on who you date. If you are successful and chasing those that are not then that may be the case.

If chase equals then that will very much not be the case. Of course, the "independent" ones come with their own challenges.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Posts like this make me think your screen name should be Uncle WEED.

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

That's what he was trying for, he was just so high at the time he spelled it wrong.

So, we all understand the Uncle part. Yes I am an uncle/tio.

Wede is the first 4 letters of my last name. That's my story and I'm sticking too it.


Ravi reference is just to show the breadth of my musical enjoyment. Dionne/Roberta, Floyd, Ravi, Vicente Fernandez. . .

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

So, we all understand the Uncle part. Yes I am an uncle/tio.

Wede is the first 4 letters of my last name. That's my story and I'm sticking too it.


Ravi reference is just to show the breadth of my musical enjoyment. Dionne/Roberta, Floyd, Ravi, Vicente Fernandez. . .

I had no idea who Ravi was, I was very confused when I googled. I didn't realize you were showing the breadth of your musical enjoyment