So not only do I disagree with your definition of "fast", but now I may have to consider if I disagree with your definition of "sporty".
Is a base 4 banger X1, "sporty". Hmmm...
We could go on all day about that....
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'02 S54 M3 (500/500 GC/Koni)
'08 N54 135 (JB4, DCI, BMW PS/Bilstein B6s, H&R M3 FSB, Strongflex FCABs)
'14 N55 X1 (JB4, BMS DP, BMS Intake, Alpina TCU reflash, H&R Sports, Bilstein B6s, E93 M3 RSB, Strongflex FCABs, baby seat)
'08 N54 535xi touring (Bilstein B6s, Downpipes, MHD tune, baby seat)