Contact a few car audio dealers and they'll have something to fit. Last time I looked into it the system hooked up to the CD multi changer and you could control some (but not all) iPod functions from the steering wheel.
It just seemed too 'bodged' when I started asking questions, so decided not to do it.
As for controlling the iPhone... think again. I've got a parrot, but as far as I know there's no system that allows you to use the steering wheel buttons, unless you've got iDrive with the Bluetooth interface.
Sorry.
J.
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