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I've never had a dealer pick my car up for service, that seems unusual even for BMW.
Just took our Honda Pilot in and the dealer charged a cc fee. That's the first time I remember any dealer doing that. I don't think my BMW dealer does. (I haven't noticed and I typically would).
My BMW dealer does ask for a full tank on loaner return. I don't know how much usage they would count as de minimis, but the first time I used a loaner I told them I was just driving the car to lunch and then back to the dealer (maybe 5 miles total) and I wouldn't be stopping for gas and they were fine with that. This was just to install a couple of dealer add-ons that came in late and only took an hour.
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