Quote:
Originally Posted by dfox
Saying something upfront, saying that you're uncomfortable with the communication, is absolutely the best way to treat the situation. Because yes, people make mistakes. But if that person never knows you're uncomfortable with the communications, how are you supposed to know you're offending them?
Hypothetical scenario: The issue at hand could be jokes shared in a group chat, occasionally sexist. The best thing to do is to either approach the person, HR, or someone else in the company and let them know that you don't find something appropriate. Horner gets a minor slap on the wrist and stops. Everyone moves along with life. Instead, someone decided to wait a "significant period of time" to say something. Now if this person raised the flag early and it continued, then no, he's got no ground to stand on. But if this is the first raising of the flag, there are plenty of circumstances where Horner should take corrective action and everyone should move along with life...
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I too prefer to have a nice and private 1:1 with the offender. It has happened to me both ways. Sometimes we don't know we're being inappropriate. Back in the old country, 'oriental' means everything and everyone from the east. Here it's offensive to call a person oriental. Go figure. But there. Problem nipped in the bud.
But bosses are often in a position of power. A buddy tells me about the inappropriate stuff the bosses at a premier international wealth management firm say and do. Even after being told repeatedly that's not OK. Looking down blouses and commenting on length of skirts is as routine as asking how was the weekend. Go figure.
I'd like to hope Horner is not that kind of man.