Quote:
Originally Posted by dinonz
Probably did. She was here until late, and had to leave to go work all night on another car. During our talks it came up that I was out of milk for my morning coffee so would have to dash out and get some when I woke up.
Sometime early morning she drove back to my place, let herself in (she has electronic access to my house) and put a bottle of milk in the fridge for me.
This is why she confuses me. |
Dude.....this is what tells me that she isn't so much interested in you as a father figure as much as she is genuinely trying to be sweet to you. In most cases, we as men, have to ask for stuff like this to be done. It's rare for to see someone take the initiative to do something like this without being asked. Stay your course sir. I'll be very surprised if this does not turn out the way you would like for it to. With this being said, I also don't expect for it to happen overnight; but nothing worth having comes easy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dinonz
Indeed. I think maybe there's a spark there she's just scared of it. To win her over, I have to just take a back seat, show her I care and mean it, and let her relax and start to accept that. In the mean time, my pool is nearly finished, she's shown me the playboy bikini she bought to wear in it, so I'm just hoping I don't have a heart attack before claiming my prize. Whether anything happens or not, I think she plans to hang around for a long time. I think the wise move here is not to make a move, but be there in every way I can.
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This makes me smile to read. This is EXACTLY how this situation needs to be handled. Do what you can to make her feel wanted but at the same time, don't forget to stay true to yourself. In the event that a photo is taken of said bikini, on her of course, none of us would mind to see this photo. You know, solely to ensure that we are giving proper advice.
Also, to touch on the subject of her father. Women tend to look for qualities in men that their fathers demonstrate. We (as men) do the same with our mothers. Considering she has never met her father, this does skew my entire thought process on her actions/reactions to things. Typically women who have great relationships with their fathers will look for men who remind them of their fathers characteristics. Whether it be their looks, personality or other characteristics. Women who had terrible relationships with their fathers tend to go the opposite direction.
I actually have quite a bit of experience in this (not just girls with fatherly issues - I won't lie, they are my favorite for obvious reasons). The first wife had severe daddy issues and was a hot mess. Rarely did she know how to act or how to treat me. We'll say that she was the proverbial "Bull in a china shop" when it came to relationships. The second wife was a big daddy's girl and spent a lot of time turning wrench's with him in the garage. She was truly a nurturing woman and was great with the relationship end of things....commitment and fidelity were not her strong suits however. With what you are saying about her being distant and now seeing that she never had a relationship with her father, this is to be expected.
Did a little research for you this morning and found this.
Father Absenteeism. Consistent with the research literature, father absence seemed to have a negative impact on the women in our study. For instance, the participants stated that when their father was absent (e.g., from divorce, separation, abandonment, or incarceration) they had more (3) difficulty trusting others. Father absence also seemed to create more uncertainty for emerging adult women, with many saying they were (4) not sure what to expect in romantic relationships. Sadly, as one participant explained:
With my dad not being in my life, I kind of have an idea of how a man is supposed to treat me, but…I really don’t know what to do, what not to do, what’s acceptable and what isn’t acceptable in a relationship. So…I don’t really know what a good relationship is, or what one is supposed to be like. I have only seen the bad: like when my mom talks about my dad and says, ‘He’s not a good father and he was never a good boyfriend, either.’ I just go off what I see in the movies because I don’t really know. So, I feel like my relationships end because I have these high expectations of what I think relationships are supposed to be like, and then they’re not.
The rest of the article is here
https://ifstudies.org/blog/how-fathe...-relationships if you'd like read it in it's entirety.
You're on the right path sir, keep the momentum going.