My son is a knucklehead!

[kprocivic]

Originally Posted by jeveryday

I guess... I just know every house hold is different and parenting styles vary greatly. To me this is no different than the old argument of parents who beat there kids vs. parents who don't.

Agreed.

Kinda reminds me of my story when I told my mom I was going to call the people on her if she whooped me. Beat the shit out of me then handed me the phone. lol my mom was a cold piece.

[SMURFDADDY]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

For a teenage son, idiot and being self centered can count for the same thing. Perhaps, that naivety is a reflection of the "smartphone" generation. Not to belittle my son's intelligence, but when he was 5, he drew all over his grandma's white walls because he says then other grandkids would draw pictures, she would putting them on the fridge, so he thought if he can draw on the walls it would be there forever for grandma to enjoy - costing my Mom 2k to paint the walls over. When he was 7 he thought it was cool rolling a bike straight down a busy downward hill (lots of commuting cars go down this hill), because he wanted to be like the movie, "Ghostrider" which he then totaled a ten speed he didn't even own. When he was 8 years old, when he was playing with his friends hide and seek, he pretended to be the wrestler John Cena saying he was invisible saying, "you can't see me" waving his hand in front of his face. When he was 11 he thought Christmas was on Dec 30th and we have always celebrated it early. When he was 13 he said, "Dad, let's take a family trip outside the U.S. and go to a foreign country, "California". His explanation for his middle school C average is because he just want to be popular and he says "C" is where everyone is since it's "average" and he'd rather be in a group that's not lonely. He joined football when he was 11 and was convinced till this day he is going to play NFL pro football like the Rock in the movie "The Game Plan". He got caught by the police when he was 14 climbing on top of a high school building with twelve of us friends and his explanation (yes, he was trying to smoke pot!) to the police was because he wanted a place to "look at the stars". And at 17 he drive 75 mph in 4th gear, locking the engine.

For me, I see "idiots" make much more money, have a great family with less worry than I do and being generally happy. So when it comes to living his life I want him to choose his own path and support him as much as I can. But for today, he's an idiot, driving his parents crazy.

But as life, this passes and as long as he'll eventually be much better off and happier than I, that's all that matters to a Dad. (Though he's still an idiot today..)

Hope you feel like an idiot reading this when your son happens to solve the worlds next biggest problem.

Most bright kids have quirks, and often don't bother thinking about the "basic" stuff.

Shit happens, move on. Teach him a lesson and either make him pay for it, or sit him down and talk to him about it so it doesn't happen again. Flaming your kid on the internet is a shitty thing to do, and truthfully I'd be very upset and deeply saddened if I caught my dad saying this shit about me to a bunch of internet guys that he has NO relationship with.

My .02

[Jashley73]

Originally Posted by jeveryday

I guess... I just know every house hold is different and parenting styles vary greatly. To me this is no different than the old argument of parents who beat there kids vs. parents who don't.

Well, I earned my fair-share of whoopin's growing up, but my parents never actually "beat" me.

There is a difference...

"You're stupid" and "that was stupid" are different. That's all I'm preaching...

[David70]

Posting on the internet that your son is an idiot will do nothing for the situation but harm it. This is completely to make you feel better at your son's expense. He didn't run over someone, become a drug addict or anything that will change you or his life long term. I have done a number of dumb things in my life and don't believe anyone calling me an idiot would have helped me be a better person.

[Killramos]

I grew up with my dad calling me an idiot for doing stupid shit, and I deserved it, I didn't end up with some kind of complex.

If anything I now have a condition called respect for my elders. Its a condition that has largely been eradicated in North America with recent generations.

WTF do you guys think is going to happen when buddies kid grows up pulling the same stupid shit and gets called an idiot by his friends, boss, random on the street. Is he going to fill out a hurt feelings report and call the police?

People need to learn from their mistakes for sure, and part of that learning process is that you get to feel like shit for a while. That's how society works, deviants are shamed. He will get over it, and maybe one day he will become a productive member of society for it.

Sounds like OP's kid is a piece of work, probably OP and his wife's fault to. I wouldn't hesitate to call him an idiot.

[overcoil]

I read the OP's comments as being frustrated with his kid and in a loving way say his kid was a knucklehead.
Conversely, in many situation where parents tell me how smart there kids are in school and how expensive there schooling is - I never sense any affection

[BwoodBMW]

maybe your son does all of these things to punish you for making him drive a Volvo....

... bet you never thought of that.

[The Wind Breezes]

You're an idiot father for not telling him to check the oil.

[SMURFDADDY]

Originally Posted by ScottSinger

I read the OP's comments as being frustrated with his kid and in a loving way say his kid was a knucklehead.
Conversely, in many situation where parents tell me how smart there kids are in school and how expensive there schooling is - I never sense any affection

I think we all get that same sense, but its one thing to be frustrated about it, but its another thing to flame him online in front of strangers that ultimately have no influence in your life. It's a shitty thing to do in my opinion but then again its completely subjective and as a 26 year old single guy with no kids myself, I have no authority or experience to advise on parenting. I just know that Id be supremely disappointed if my dad have to vent about me on an internet forum.......

[Lshaw]

I feel the OP's son is only an idiot if he doesn't learn from his mistakes from post #7.

LOL we need an update in a year.

Oh yeah, everyone who thinks this is demeaning and are angered by the OP's statement. Relax, your parents probably called you the exact same thing to their friends when you were young as well. They just didn't have the internet at that time to vent

[GlobalScientist]

BTW, is using "knucklehead" nicer than "idiot"? For those Y generation bimmers that were offended, look up Landmark Education. It all points to bad programming when you were younger. My generation apologies for your messed up behavior, but we are just handing down what our previous generation did to us. (I'm kidding okay!)

[Killramos]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

So my wife's idea was to set him up in the program that some car dealers have that has him buy the car (with parent's contribution as needed) have the title in his name and also have him pay monthly payments (est. 100-150 dollars) a month for a cheap, new baseline model. While it sounds like a great idea, I can see this backfiring, him not able pay because he used the money to "go out" with friends.

IMO under no circumstances should a kid have ANYTHING financed in any way shape or form at his age. Either you buy it for him ( maybe he pays you back i don't know that's your call ) or he buys it himself.

I just feel like its setting him up either for failure or bad precedents for future. You don't want to teach him to rely on credit so readily, one of the biggest problems we face in this century.

[David70]

Originally Posted by Killramos

IMO under no circumstances should a kid have ANYTHING financed in any way shape or form at his age. Either you buy it for him ( maybe he pays you back i don't know that's your call ) or he buys it himself.

I just feel like its setting him up either for failure or bad precedents for future. You don't want to teach him to rely on credit so readily, one of the biggest problems we face in this century.

Buying it for him and them him paying you back is also known as a loan. Not seeing a lot of difference, he just realizes not making a payment really doesn't matter that much because dad has the loan.

Giving it to him teaches him?

Everyone should understand how credit works, use it wisely and understand the consequences, then decide on whether it makes sense. Virtually every business uses it.

[spiceyxi]

I got my first car at 16 (~11 year old Honda CRX) I remember my dad asking me at one point if I checked the oil after owning it for a several months. I had no clue I was supposed to check it (so soon). Turns out it was almost out. Learned a lesson that day.

Now I have a car that lets me know if the oil is low.

You should have bought a newer car. Could have saved some money.

[IEDEI]

it's just a car....and he made a mistake. he's a kid.

the bigger problem seems to be how much you are ridiculing your son on a public platform with name calling.....pretty weird, if you ask me....even if it is somewhat anonymous....

[GlobalScientist]

After all that its a lesson which he'll remember. I just hope as he grows into manhood, he actually does things to correct his mistakes. I could do that more often as well.

My sis-in-law is going to give us her very used manual transmission car, so at least he'll learn how to drive a stick.

What could possibly go wrong with that?

[pgviper]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

After all that its a lesson which he'll remember. I just hope as he grows into manhood, he actually does things to correct his mistakes. I could do that more often as well.

My sis-in-law is going to give us her very used manual transmission car, so at least he'll learn how to drive a stick.

What could possibly go wrong with that?

Good bye clutch...

Your son sounds like a bit of a space cadet, doesn't make him a bad person. Just makes him accident/problem prone. He will learn to deal with his mistakes... he still has plenty of time.

[GlobalScientist]

pgviper, you're spot on. It's always something ridiculous that you hope they will grow out of or they just hid it better with age or end up passing it down to their kids.

Yep, there is no hill holder function on this car for sure

[tdott]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

"I didn't know he needed to check the oil."

Unfortunately I feel this falls on you...

My son (when/if I have one) better damn well know basic car maintenance before he gets a car, otherwise he'll enjoy a bus pass or buying one with his own money.

[okusa]

Originally Posted by IEDEI

it's just a car....and he made a mistake. he's a kid.

the bigger problem seems to be how much you are ridiculing your son on a public platform with name calling.....pretty weird, if you ask me....even if it is somewhat anonymous....

Totally agree. Here's a good life lesson for OP. Before responding to these type of issues try and stop and think of what Maya Angelou wrote "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

[Jashley73]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

After all that its a lesson which he'll remember. I just hope as he grows into manhood, he actually does things to correct his mistakes. I could do that more often as well.

My sis-in-law is going to give us her very used manual transmission car, so at least he'll learn how to drive a stick.

What could possibly go wrong with that?

I'm working on this with my wife as well... Here's what's worked well so far...

#1 - Learn how to take off just by feathering the clutch - NO GAS... This helps them develop how the clutch "feels" and what it does. <-- This alone was the biggest help for my wife...

#2 - When you take off, you let out on the clutch first, THEN release the brake pedal, THEN give it gas...

#3 - When taking off on a hill, pull up on the hand brake to hold the car steady - NOT the brake/gas/clutch dance. When you're ready to take off, see #2...

#4 - When shifting gears, your right foot never really comes off the gas. It may go back to 1-2%, but never 0% gas... This helps keep from jerky shifts.

Good luck, and lots of patience.

[GlobalScientist]

I understand some of the posters feelings on ridicule and name calling and all the other things related to that, so I do regret being too harsh. Google "landmark education" and perhaps your damage from your parents is fixable.



I did actually take time to go over some of the maintenance basics for the car with him. That said, part of growing up means taking care of the things given to you.

I totally forgot to mention that he told me a few months ago that he did read the owners manual for the car (btw, he didn't do so well in the recent SATs <1200, though I'm not implying anything there for your sensitive kind folks). I do think you tend to take care of things more when you buy them yourself as opposed to having it given to you.

In my "defense" he's been fairly self-centered recently as many teenagers are because he was more concerned about what car was he going to drive now as opposed to having concern on what my wife and I already paid in terms of the cost and maintenance of a car that we literally only owned <7 months.

As far as my son's "manual" driving that (I think) everyone should have that basic skill, my sis-in-law has the car in for check-up, so hopefully he'll be able to start learning soon.



But no, he will not drive my M4 in the foreseeable future!